If you’ve read the Start Here page, or About Me, you’ll know my partner and I have been talking about packing up our life in the city. We plan to move to a smaller city or town somewhere in the province, with more green space and less noise pollution.
I’ve known for a while that life in the city doesn’t agree with me. Though filled with opportunity, the city also brings me a fair bit of stress and anxiety. I remind myself at least 10 times a day to take a deep breath and only then do I realize just how much tension is built up inside of me.
Stuck
Have you ever known you needed to make a change but not known where to start? So you just sort of stay….stuck.
Yeah. That’s where I’ve been for about two years now.
My partner and I have been a lot more focused on this though as we approached buying our first home. We still haven’t decided exactly where we’ll buy but we do know the city we choose is really dependent on what our plans were for our jobs.
So best start there.
And let me tell you this feels like the first breakthrough we’ve had in making all of these decisions.
Remote Work
For a while now, I have been dreaming of having a job that is location independent – ie remote.
Generally, I’m a home body.
I love my quiet time to myself. With a very social partner and my current role where I spend 90% of my days in meetings, I don’t get very much of that.
Remote work would allow me a lot more quiet time to myself.
My hope is then that by the end of the workday when my partner wants to go out to socialize with our friends, I’ll not only be on board, but I’ll be excited.
The other consideration going into this is that wherever we move will be a city or town we’ve never lived in before. That means there’s a possibility we don’t end up liking it and want to leave. If that’s the case, having remote work would allow me to keep my job when we left, and provide a little stability for our family.
There’s also the less practical but very attractive idea that I could pack up and go spend 4 months in Europe if I wanted.
As we talked through remote work for me, we also came to the conclusion that my (extremely social) partner, would be much happier to be able to be in office at least part time so he can interact with his coworkers.
Okay, great.
Things are starting to take shape.
Risks
We thought about what this would look like when we move – both of us being in new jobs, making mortgage payments on our first home, and living in a new city where we don’t know anyone… We are painfully aware that that’s a lot of change all at once.
Adjusting to one major life change is difficult, but all of this?
I expect this will be really tough.
It also means there’s a higher chance this all won’t work. My fear is that one aspect of this change gets tough – finding new friends, his job, my job. And it bleeds into everything else, making this all feel like a mistake before we’ve given it an honest try.
To make this just a wee bit more stressful –
We’re expecting to take on a mortgage wherever we go. With a new job there’s always a chance it’s not a good fit. And the last thing I want either of us to do is be tied down to the wrong thing because we’ve overextended ourselves financially.
Managing Change
I want to make sure this all feels as manageable as possible. And that beyond that, we go in with the expectation that things won’t be perfect right away.
So how do I make this change manageable?
The most obvious way to me would be decreasing the number of things changing all at once.
In our situation, we think we’ve figured out what that is.
I’ll be looking for remote work, meaning, I can do it from anywhere. There’s nothing keeping me in my job right now so our hope is for me to first find a remote job. Ideally something that pays me close to what I make now.
If we can accomplish that, I can work from Toronto for 6 or so months before we move. That’ll give me the chance to ensure the company is stable if they’re a startup, that I like the role, and that the company is well managed. And of course, that they like me back.
This way, when we go to move, everything else will still change but at least we’ll have confidence that I have a good job and more importantly, a stable salary that could support us if need be. If my partner’s job doesn’t work out, knowing that I’ve got something steady will give him the comfort he needs to look for something more suitable.
Silver Lining
As most of us are, we’re currently stuck at home through the COVID-19 pandemic.
What this has offered us is a chance to test out remote work.
I suspected that I’d love working remote and that has absolutely been true. Add in a couple opportunities to get outside through the day and something social with friends after work and I’m a happy camper.
One uncertainty now certain – remote work and I are a great fit.
Now if I could just find a remote job….